Set Fire To The Rain
by SavageNymph
Summary: A collection of one-shots and drabbles centered around Axel and his experiences as a human, Nobody, and everything in between. LeaxIsa, AkuRoku, and various other canon and non-canon pairings.  Previously Burning WIth Fury
1. Preface

preface

_Best friends_

_Ex-friends till the end_

_Better off as lovers_

_And not the other way around._

-Fall Out Boy "Bang The Doldrums"

_If it is nothingness that awaits us, let us make an injustice of it; let us fight against destiny, even though without hope of victory._

-Miguel de Unamuno


	2. New Perspective

**A/N:**

Hello again! I hope you enjoy my newest fanfiction! It was born from a combination of Kingdom Hearts obsession and the fact that I think Axel is the most crapped-upon character in the series. With that and the fact that I love him oh so very much, I thought I'd dedicate my next venture solely to him.

Rated "T" for mild swearing (okay, everything short of that four little word starting with "F") and for any kind of yaoi I'm in the mood for at the moment.

**Kingdom Hearts and all characters belong to Sqaure Enix and Disney, respectively. **

**Chapter titles are all songs that I also do not own, and did not write. Leave the band in the comments if you figure them out :]**

Enjoy the adventure!

new perspective

The Shadow's claws were sharper than they looked, slicing through the thick leather of Axel's coat like it was thin cotton.

Needless to say, his skin didn't fair any better.

"Oh, dammit." Axel hissed, dispatching the pesky little Heartless with a down stroke of his chakram before stepping back and touching his chest. Three lines slashed across the coat, tearing it and the shirt beneath. Blood was all ready seeping out of the shallow wounds.

"I _just _got a new coat." Axel grumbled. "And now look at me."

"Heal yourself!" Luxord snapped as he ran past. "And then get back on the Heartless!"

Axel sighed and rolled his shoulders, wincing at the pain in his chest. Unfortunately, he didn't have any potions. He'd been too broke to visit the Moodle shop lately, and the Heartless he killed only ever seemed to drop Ethers, which was both annoying and slightly useless since he could create fire with _his __mind_.

"Just have to grin and bear it." Axel muttered to himself before shooting both chakrams off at a malicious looking Orcus that was about three seconds away from braining Demyx who was, as always, not paying attention to the things that were about to kill him.

As his chakrams wheeled back he caught them effortlessly, then cried out as the action caused a hot wave of pain in the gouge-marks.

He really needed potions.

Unfortunately, he needed every bit of money to buy three sea-salt ice creams at the end of the day.

He thought of Roxas and Xion, smiling and laughing, identical blue eyes twinkling in the diffused light of Twilight Town.

_What,_he smiled fondly, _would __they __do __without __me?_


	3. On My Own

on my own

Lea flicks the match against the box, watching as the small flame bloomed into existence. He yawned, waiting as the fire ate the small twig of fire that inhabited. Seconds before it reached his fingertips, Lea flicked the match into the small tray he kept on his window. It landed with a delicate clatter among its fellows. He'd all ready gone through half a matchbox this morning.

_This __is __what __happens_, Lea thought tiredly, _when __I __wake __up __too __early_.

His mom wasn't even awake yet, and she had to get up really early to go to work. The sun had cracked the darkness of dawn just a half hour or so ago, and now Lea was being a pyro because he was bored.

He groaned quietly and rolled over, letting his hand fall over the edge of the bed and graze the floor. His room was a mess, cluttered with his clothes, books, movies, and games. Tacked to the walls were pictures of him and Isa, depicting everything from them grinning at the camera and each holding an ice-cream, to Lea drawing a mustache on a sleeping-Isa's face. Posters adorned the walls as well, sharing the space with various newspaper clippings. Most of these were about Ansem and his apprentices. Though none of them ever said what the scientists were truly doing.

Lea yawned and considered just screwing it and getting up. But Isa wasn't much of a morning person: he was no fun until at least ten or so. What was he going to do for the next few hours? Moving around the house might wake his mom up, and she barely got enough sleep as it was.

"Soooooo bored." Lea muttered. "This is annoying."

He grabbed a random book off his floor and flipped it open to the middle. It was Ansem the Wise's _Theory__Of__The__Heart_, which both him and Isa had taken a vow to study until they could understand what it all meant. They were desperate to get inside the laboratories and twisting mazes of Ansem's castle, to see what the man was coming up with. What it meant for them, for their world. The section he'd opened up to was a particularly nasty bit that he still hadn't quite figured out:

_And __what __is __the __Heart __but __an __extension __of __self, __of __our __deepest __desires __and __darkest __secrets? __If __you __are __to __plumb __the __recesses __of __the __Heart, __then __you __must __be __prepared __to __find __the __darkness __that __lurks __within __us __all__—__to __truly __unlock __the __secrets, __to __understand, __then __one __must __first __face __the __idea __that __we __all __hold __a __monster __within __us. __A __monster __that __holds __the __key __to __our __undoing, __and __our __survival. __What __if __we __could __see __this __monster, __locate __its __essence __in __our __own __spirits? __Would __it __then __be __possible __to __flush __it __out, __to __flood __the __darkest __parts __of __our __Hearts __with __light?_

_A dear colleague of mine professes often, when we are discussing matters of Heart, that you cannot have light without dark, nor darkness without light. "The blackest darkness will always have a light at the end," he tells me, "and the brightest light, a spot of darkness to help you see your way."_

_Does this mean that the darkness in our Hearts is meant to be there, carefully guiding our actions and spreading through our light? I do not agree. We have the power to fight this darkness, to become beings of true light. If we could unlock these secrets, find the Key that unlocks the heart, than perhaps we could eradicate this blackness within us…_

Isa had scribbled on this page in his herky-jerky handwriting, underlining phrases and circling words. He got this stuff way more than Lea did. At the very bottom of the page he'd written:

The Key of Hearts.

Lea didn't know what meant, or where Isa had gotten it. He'd read the same passage

multiple times and never made the connection. But, still, something about it…seemed to shiver with promise, giving Lea goose bumps. Something within those four words was the answer to everything, all their questions. All they needed to do was figure out what.

He dropped the book again and picked up another one. This one was thinner, more well-worn than Theory Of The Heart. It was an old collection of fairy-tales, of heroes and warriors. His mother had used to read them aloud to Lea, back before his father died and his mom was forced to work constantly.

His old favorite was called The Keyblade Masters. It was about three friends, back before The Keyblade Wars practically eradicated Masters or Bearers. The three friends started out on a small world; surrounded by an ocean that none could pass. They trained every day, each trying to be the best. In the end, one of the friends wanted to leave the world, so he set off on a boat and drowned. The last two friends fell in love, but one was so grieved at the loss of the drowned friend that he lost the ability to fight, and in the loss of his keyblade, faded away to nothingess. The last keyblade bearer, now suffering the loss of their friend and lover, made a journey to the top of the mountain that made up their world. There, the keyblade bearer begged to see their friends one last time. A voice came to them, words shivering in the sky from an unknown source. The voice told them that their friends were not dead, but had passed into a new world—and if the keyblade bearer was brace enough, they could go to the new world as well. The keyblade bearer was not brave enough, though, and did not believe that there were any other worlds out there, and that their friends were dead, not somewhere else. So they stayed on the island, and died years later as a keyblade Master, old and alone.

His mother hated that story. She said it was depressing. Lea loved it. It gave him a reason to be brave, to push the limits of his world until they broke and he found something else at the edge. Something even better. That's what him and Isa wanted to do. The wanted to find something beyond this world that they lived in now.

He thought of that boy who had visited so abruptly, a few months ago. Ven. Funny guy, little too serious. Lea sometimes wondered what had happened to him—if, perhaps, he had gone back to his own world. He'd fought with that stupid wooden keyblade, but sometimes Lea thought that Ven was actually a Bearer. Which meant he actually traveled to other worlds—which was so unfair, so amazing, that it filled Lea with a mix of envy and longing. Something told him that he would meet that boy again, someday.

_Me__ '__n __Isa__'__ll __go __find __him_, Lea thought happily, _someday __it__'__ll __just b__e __the __two __of __us, __and __we__'__ll __see __all __the __worlds __together._

Someday.


	4. Bleed It Out

bleed it out

"You are _such _a colossal idiot!" Axel snapped as he examined Roxas's bare back. "Would it kill you to look around you a little bit?"

"I was looking around me." Roxas replied calmly. "But around me consisted of four Heartless, which made it easy for a fifth one to sneak in and take a swipe at me."

"A _swipe?__" _Axel swallowed. "I don't know if you can actually see your back, but it's anything but a swipe. Got it memorized, kid? You look awful."

"Then stop snapping at me and help." Roxas said, voice still calm and even.

Axel bit his lip and shook his head slowly. Roxas's back was lacerated, four long gauges stretching from his right shoulder to his left hip. Axel had given him a Potion, so the pain was better, but the wounds seemed to deep to heal the magic way.

"Looks like we'll actually need bandages." Axel muttered. "I'll go get Vexan."

Roxas craned around to look at him. "You're leaving me?"

"You're in your own room, moron." Axel rolled his eyes. "I think you'll be fine."

He reached out with an un-gloved hand and touched a spot on Roxax's shoulder that had been splattered with blood. It was a deep ruby color, redder than his hair even. He'd always thought Nobody blood might be a different color than humans', or that they wouldn't bleed at all. But the drops of blood that fell onto Roxas's snow-white sheets were ruby as the blood Axel had spilled as a human.

Roxas sucked in a breath. "Just because it's not open flesh, doesn't mean checking any part of my back doesn't hurt right now."

"Sorry." Axel swallowed. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Roxas bit his lip, sometimes as young and naïve as he'd been when he'd first come to the Organization. "Promise?"

Axel ruffled his hair, knowing that if he had a heart right now it would be lanced with warmth and sadness. "Promise."


	5. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

i write sins not tragedies

It was another one of _those _nights that Axel so hated. Sometimes, on a slow day or even a day off, Zexion got the wild idea to hold a small poetry reading. Axel was completely bemused as to why—the only one who liked going was Lexaeus and that was only because he was friends with Zexion, and Axel wasn't even sure he could read.

Mostly everyone fell asleep. But everyone always went partly because, well, there wasn't much else to do. Mostly they went because Zexion would do very nasty things to the ones who skipped. Axel hadn't gone once, and he'd found his bed transformed into a nest of thorns. Not sure if it was an illusion, and not willing to risk it, he'd had to sleep on the floor for a week.

He sat in the very back and stretched out in his chair, contemplating putting his hood up so he could sleep easier. Zexion always had these weird things outside and the blare of the gleaming black-and-purple sky always gave him a headache.

"This is ridiculous." Siax muttered, taking a seat next to Axel as if it was the most casual gesture in the world.

Axel swallowed, trying not to show his surprise. "You're here, aren't you?"

"I don't wish for my beserker to get turned into a lump of iron again, thanks." Siax's face was as grim as death. "Filthy little upstart."

Axel held back a grin. Isa always used to talk like that, too—melodious, slick, with big words and crisp syllables.

Siax glanced at him. "Your face is turning red, Axel."

"Shut up." Axel looked away, embarrassed. "I, er, have a fever."

"We don't get fevers anymore." Siax's tone was condescending but somehow warm. "Don't be a fool."

Zexion walked up to the front of the congregation at the moment, clearing his throat and opening a thick book. As he started to read, Siax groaned.

"Does he write this stuff?" Axel raised his eyebrows. "Or just read them?"

"How should I know?" Siax snapped. "What a waste of a day off."

"Please." Axel snorted. "You know you love working, Is—"

Siax looked over at him abruptly. "What's that?"

"Nothing." Axel could feel his face turning red again. "I—forgot myself."

Siax's lips curled into a smile that was part Nobody and part Isa. Axel felt something hurt inside of him—had he a heart, he would have thought it was that. It felt as if his chest was splitting in two with sadness.

"You were always so absent-minded," Siax chuckled, "Lea."


	6. Carpal Tunnel Of Love

carpal tunnel of love

"Axel?" Xion's voice was as light and sweet as always. "Do you need help?"

"Yes." Axel moaned. "This is impossible."

He'd been trying to bandage his own ribs for probably twenty minutes. The three long scratches had bled out all over his jacket and undershirt, and trying to bandage them properly by himself was not turning out well.

"I've got it." Xion laughed. "What would you do without us, Axel?"

"I don't know." He grinned, handing her the roll of gauze. Usually they took potions, but Shadows had some kind of poison in their claws that made any kind of Elixirs useless.

"Ouch." Xion sucked a breath through her teeth as she brushed a bare hand over his chest. "This looks painful. Don't you have potions?"

"Er." Axel did not, as Luxord had all ready learned. "No. Wouldn't heal anyway, just take the pain away."

"Does it hurt badly?" Xion asked and she gently wound the bandages around his chest and back.

"It's okay." Axel shrugged. "Seen Roxas today?"

As if on cue, he burst through Axel's bedroom door. "Axel! Are you okay? I heard you got a bad wound—on the…mission…"

He trailed off as he saw his two friends. Axel realized how this could look a little bad—him, shirtless, with Xion up close with her arms partly around him to wind the gauze.

"Um." Roxas flushed. "I…forgot something. Be right back."

The door slammed behind him.

"What was that all about?" Xion raised her slim black eyebrows. "That's not like him."

"No idea." Axel swallowed, unsure why his own face was flushed and hot.

If he had a heart, something told him it would be pounding right now.

A/N:

That was a continuation from the first chapter, heh.

Roxy and Axel are so cute and clueless :D

At least in this chapter…

(this is where I wiggle my eyebrows like a pervert and imply _things_about Roxas and Axel in upcoming chapters).

lol


	7. Memories

memories

Axel hated going back to Radiant Gardens.

Or, Hollow Bastion as it was now called. The name didn't suit Axel's memories of the place—or, rather, Lea's memory of the place—at all. He remembered a shining place full of water and flowers, swaying trees and sparkling stone and polished bronze.

His hood was up, obscuring his face, but it didn't stop the sweet scent of flowers from swirling around him. Where was it coming from? He didn't see flowers anymore—the place was, to put it bluntly, ramshackle. Now. After Ansem The Wise had destroyed everything that had ever mattered to Axel.

No. Destroyed everything that had ever mattered to Lea.

Ansem had created Axel.

"Hey, wait up!" A little girl wearing a little pink dress ran past Axel laughing as a boy in overalls and no shoes chased after her, panting.

Axel turned to watch them run. They laughed and tripped, panted and yelled. Kids. He was a kid here once. He'd grown up in the town's center, in a little house with his mother and father, before he'd died.

Isa had lived near them, in a house with his aunt and uncle. His parents had both died of flu when Isa had been five years old, leaving him to be raised by his kindly relatives. They'd been friends since before Isa's parents had died, for as long as Axel—dammit, _Lea_—remembered.

They had always spent time together at Isa's house, where his aunt would make cookies and give them munny for sea-salt ice-cream they'd buy from Uncle Scrooge, who ran the ice cream shop and several other small businesses downtown.

Axel meandered through the small village now—some of the houses half-burned and bent, twisting like broken limbs. Radiant Gardens truly had become hollow.

He found his old house easily. It was one of the broken ones, but he ducked into the crooked door nonetheless. Ah. Everything was how he remembered—the entryway that forked into the kitchen or the living room. The stairs that led to his room, a small bathroom and tidy linens closet, and then his mother's room.

It was empty now, of course. Nothing remained of the life Axel and his mother had once shared. Perhaps, if he were to go to his room, some pictures would remain tacked to the walls. But the stairs were shattered and dangerous, and anyway, everything had changed too much.

Isa was not waiting for him. Siax was. And Siax would be very angry with Axel unless he completed his mission and took out the Heartless plaguing this place.

His old home. Siax's old home.

Axel summoned his chakrams with a flick of his wrists, swallowing the pain. He wanted to burn this house the ground, and with it, the last memories of his life.

Roxas had been born with no memories of his original self, the life he had led when he was whole and different, a name not yet twisted and stamped with an _X_that would carve its way to place where your heart once was.

_I__pitied__him,_Axel thought as he stepped out of his old house, eyes zeroing in on the tidy little bronze home that was still standing and, possible, still inhabited by Isa's aunt and uncle. _I__pitied__Roxas_ _when_ _he_ _first_ _came_ _here._ _But_ _he__'__s_ _lucky._

_ I don't want these memories. Not anymore. _


	8. Please Don't Leave Me

please don't leave me

A/N:

Quick POV change, thought I'd do a bit of Roxas just to round out Axels' life a bit. This is a continuation from chapter five (where Roxy has an injured back) Might do this periodically, along with some Xion too, what say you?

Anyways, on with the dance!

The pain in Roxas's back had ebbed with the potion he'd taken, but it still felt strangely raw and _loose_which was probably from the fact that it the skin had been forcibly separated by one of those Orcus Heartless that honestly creeped the fuck out of Roxas.

"How're you holding up?" Axel breezed back into the room, holding a roll of Vexan's special elixir-soaked bandages.

Well, Vexan was dead now. So Xaldin made them. But Roxas couldn't help but think of them as Vexan's.

"Fine." Roxas made a face. "I would casually shrug right now but it feels…weird."

"I know the feeling." Axel grinned. "Pain's gone, but the gaping wound's still there, you know?"

"I do now."

Axel laughed. "Mind if I take off my coat, Roxas? I hate wearing this thing more than I have to."

Roxas nodded, feeling his face get weirdly hot. It happened sometimes when he was around Axel, or when Siax called him "fool", or when Xion teased him. He wasn't quite sure what it meant.

Axel stripped off the coat shamelessly, standing now in his skinny black pants and white undershirt. He kicked off his boots (without asking, and they smudged Roxas's floor with dirt which he didn't appreciate) and hopped onto Roxas's bed.

"Axel?" Roxas cocked his head. "What's on your foot?"

"Huh?" Axel looked down at his left foot, where a spiky black…thing was painted in dark ink. "Oh. It's a tattoo, Roxas."

"What's a tattoo?"

Axel laughed, unwinding the bandages. "It's like…well, a permanent drawing on your skin. It's hard to explain."

"What does it mean?" Roxas wanted to touch the thick black lines, but something stopped him.

"It's says 'VIII' which means 'eight'. My rank in the Organization."

"Oh."

Axel smiled wryly. "Xemnas was making them mandatory in the beginning. Stopped that before you came in."

"Oh."

"Turn around, stop gaping like a zombie." Axel laughed. "Let me help you."

Roxas liked those words _let__me__help__you_so he turned around and sat still as Axel slowly wound the bandages around Roxas's middle.

Roxas could feel Axel's crossed legs pressing into his lower back, his breath stirring Roxas's hair as he moved slightly with the bandages pattern. And Roxas could _smell_him too—a mix of the leather coats they wore and something warm and sharp—smoke.

Leather and smoke. Such _hard_scents. That wasn't truly Axel, though. Roxas knew that much about his best friend. Axel was more like fire than ash—bright and energetic and warm, gentle and fierce all at the same time.

"All done." Axel sat back. "Those'll hold for a bit, unless you go fight like a Darkside tomorrow or something."

"Thanks, Axel." Roxas's face was hot again.

"No problem." He yawned. "I think I'll turn in now, Roxas, it's been another long day."

"Okay."

Axel peered around Roxas's shoulder to look at his face. "You don't look O-K-A-Y, you know. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Roxas." Axel said warningly.

"Oh, I don't know." Roxas sighed. "I just…I don't know."

Axel was quite for a second before taking a deep breath. "Do you want me to stick around for a little while?"

Roxas's face was getting really hot. What was this? It was getting really annoying.

"Yes, please."


	9. Sugar, We're Goin' Down

sugar, we're goin' down

Axel wondered, dimly, if the sun ever truly set in Twilight Town. They always left before they could find out, so it was impossible to know.

"My back huuuuurts so bad." Roxas complained. "Can I pleaaase have another potion?"

"No." Axel snapped. "You have to wean off that."

"This is awful." Roxas groaned, burying his face in his hands. "If I ever see another Orcus I'm going to lose it."

"You are definitely going to see another Orcus," Axel ruffled Roxas's hair, "so you'll just have to deal with it."

Roxas stilled under Axel's touch for a second, blushing slightly. Axel withdrew his gloved hand quickly, unsure of his friend's reaction.

"You've had the wound for two weeks now, Roxas." Axel chuckled. "I think you're just whining by now."

Roxas cleared his throat, cheeks not fading yet. "Seen Xion today?"

"She's on a big mission with Demyx." Axel shrugged. "They get along so, I'm not worried."

"This is like back in the beginning…you know?" Roxas yawned. "Back when it was just you and me."

"Yeah." Axel shaded his eyes as he watched the sun glow in the sky. "Back when you were a zombie."

"Knock it off." Roxas laughed. "I wasn't that bad."

Axel glanced at his friend. "Are you happy, Roxas?"

The other boy looked up sharply, raising his eyebrows. "Huh? What a weird question, Axel."

"Answer it."

"I…" Roxas tilted his head. "I think I am. Hard to tell. You know; no heart."

"Doesn't matter." Axel reached out and tapped Roxas's chest. "You'll still feel it in here, Roxas, if you're happy."

"What makes you so sure?" Roxas grinned. "You got a heart hiding in there somewhere, Axel?"

Axel grimaced. "Roxas, I'm serious."

"So am I!" Roxas snapped. "What a ridiculous question. How am I supposed to know if I'm happy?"

"If everything—the Organization, the worlds, this tower, Xion and me—if it all disappeared, how would you feel?"

Roxas bit his lip, brow furrowed. "Like…I wouldn't want to wake up. Because I wouldn't know what to wake up for."

Axel grinned hugely, not sure why this response made him so happy.

"Yeah, you're happy, Roxas. H-A-P-P-Y. Got it memorized?"


	10. Spotlight Oh Nostalgia

Spotlight (Oh Nostalgia)

Axel recognized him right away.

The sight of the boy with the blank, blue eyes brought such a rush of spinning, choking whirlwind of nostalgia to Axel's chest that he almost fell to his knees. It was the closest he'd come to emotion in a very, very long time.

"Siax." Axel swallowed. "That's not…?"

"No." Siax responded, voice clipped. "He is not the one in our memories."

Axel glanced over at the pale man, seeing a grinning boy with blue hair in his mind. The pain—again, the whirlwind of echoed emotion—rushed through him.

What was this? Had this boy really managed to create such a strong reaction in him?

"Who is he, then?" Axel shook his head. "Siax, you know he's identical to Ven."

"Ven." Siax closed his eyes. "Is long gone, Axel. Don't be a fool."

"Then explain to me," Axel's eyes followed the boy as Xemnas was explaining something to him, "why they are twins."

"I don't know." Siax sighed. "What makes you think I have all the answers, Axel?"

"Because you always do have all the answers." Axel chuckled. "Don't be so modest, Siax."

"The boy is…different." Siax looked troubled. "But he is a keyblade master, just like Ven was."

How odd.

Axel watched the boy who Xemnas called Roxas. He looked so like that boy who had appeared in Radiant Gardens so long ago and beat Axel—Lea—at a quick sparring match.

_Who__are__you?_Axel's lip curled. _And__why__…__do__you__bring__about__such__a__strong__feeling__in__my__chest?_

It was like having a heart once more.


	11. Always

always

"Why does the sun set red?"

Axel glanced over at Xion, feeling a smile curl his mouth. "Well, funny you should ask—"

"Don't." Roxas held out his gloved hand. "Do not go there, Axel. I've heard this enough. Just—stop."

"What?" Xion blinked, surprised. "I want to know!"

Axel snickered and Roxas's expression and before long the other two were laughing too, the three of them shaking with mirth on top of the Tower.

Axel wondered, briefly, what Siax would think if he saw the three of them together like this. It was a knee-jerk reaction Axel had—to always think of Siax, and everything he represented.

_Idle__thoughts,_Axel sighed internally, _not__worth__my__time._

"I wonder if we'll always be friends." Xion murmured as their laughter dwindled.

Roxas looked over at her, brow furrowing. "Of course we will be, Xion."

Axel swallowed. They were both so innocent—so naively trusting and believing in everything. Maybe because of what they were—Roxas, without his memories, and Xion who was…well, only stolen memories.

It didn't matter. Right now they seemed perfect to Axel, in a way that no other Nobody could be. The light in their eyes had not been dimmed by the oblivion of this twisted kind of afterlife. Something remained in them—if nothing else, it was the will to live with a smile on their face.

"We'll be together," Axel said softly, "in our memories. Got it memorized? In our memories, always."

Xion and Roxas smiled simultaneously, but it was Roxas who spoke.

"Yeah. Always!"

A/N:

Sorry for the shortness!


	12. Someone Like You

someone like you

It came back in flashes.

_Darkness,__erupting__out__of__the__room__like__a__bomb__going__off.__Everyone__screams__—__the__sound__so__loud__and__piercing__Lea__wants__to__cover__his__ears__but__no,__no__time__no__time__he__has__to__run__has__to__—_

He hadn't been fast enough.

_Coldness__stabbing__into__his__chest,__knocking__him__off__his__feet__and__squeezing__the__breath__out__of__his__lungs.__He__tries__to__scream__but__nothing__comes__out.__The__darkness__presses__on__him__like__smothering__earth._

No, no, it hurt too badly to remember.

_Ripping,__tearing__—__like__the__very__fabric__of__his__being__is__being__torn__in__half__and__separated__and__it__feels__wrong,__wrong__wrong__no__—__stop-!__God,__stop!_

He can't breathe. It hurts to remember.

_He__must__be__dead.__This__is__death.__He__is__standing__above__his__body,__watching__it__shrivel__and__darken__and__twist__until__it__'__s__tall__and__dark__and__formless__with__glowing__golden__eyes.__He__must__be__dead._

So why…is he thinking…right now?

"Lea? Lea! Oh, god, Lea! Please open your eyes!"

Isa.

He sat up, suddenly, chest heaving with new breath. He is cold and warm and nothing, wearing a white shirt and long white pants he'd never seen before.

Isa is sitting next to him, wearing the same clothes. He looks just like Isa—except with a bleeding wound in the shape of an "X" on his face and his eyes were different…slightly…blank…

"Isa?" He reached out to touch his friend's face. "Isa? What happened."

A slight sob escaped Isa's mouth. "I don't know, Lea. I don't know. I—thought I'd died but then…now we're awake and…and…"

Lea. He was Lea still. Even if his chest felt light and empty and breathing was weird and Isa was bleeding and his eyes were blank.

Axel wanted to cry, but he couldn't for some reason. Everything—everything felt empty.

"I'm so scared." Isa chocked out. "What's—what's going on…?"

"Disappeared." Axel licked his lips. "Remember? How some of…the apprentices disappeared…? Maybe…this happened to them, too."

"But what's happened?" Isa cried. "What happened to us!"

"I don't know." Lea reached out and wrapped his arms around Isa, pulling his friend to his chest and burying his face into Isa's hair. "I don't know."

"Something's wrong with us." Isa's voice was muffled, breathing erratic. "We're—not the same anymore."

"I know." Axel swallowed. "But you still look like you, Isa."

A snort. "Classic Lea answer."

Lea smiled. "We'll make it through this, Isa. We're…we're still friends, right?"

Isa peeked up at his best friend. "Of course we are, Lea. Don't be stupid."

It would be okay. They'd stay friends. No matter…what happened beyond this second that would remain.

Everything would be okay as long as they were together.


	13. Thinking Of You

Thinking Of You

The meeting's meaning was lost on Axel. He had tuned out almost has soon as he had sat down.

The only thing he saw were the two empty chairs that had, only last week, been filled.

Roxas. Xion. Gone now. One was dead—absorbed back into smoke and memories. And…Roxas…? It wasn't clear yet. But Xemnas didn't see, to think he was dead.

_If__he__'__s__not__dead,_Axel swallowed, _then__where__is__he?_

He had left, that much was certain. Axel had tried—he'd _tried_—to stop Roxas as he had left, but the boy refused.

_No__one__'__ll__miss__me._

That had been the pain of losing Xion talking. Axel could see it so clearly in Roxas's eyes—like nothing had ever happened these past 365 days. Like Xion's death had meant more than hundreds of sunsets and secret, shared smiles.

_That__'__s__not__true__…_

Roxas was an enemy now. And if he was ever found…the punishment would be so very harsh.

_I__would._

Axel was suddenly very envious of Xion.


	14. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

i will follow you into the dark

A/N:

The last chapter was terrible, I know **shame**. When I don't have inspiration it shows, I guess. Oh, and can anyone help me with the fact that whenever I do italics it like smushes them all together? This is the first time it's ever happened to me, and I realllly hate it.

Anyways, first AkuRoku chappie yay!

Roxas looked so small, sitting hunched over on his bed with his head in his hands. His tousled brown hair stuck up in about twenty different directions and Axel wondered, momentarily, if it would be soft to the touch.

"What's up, Roxas?" Axel asked, taking a seat next to his friend. "You weren't at the clock tower tonight."

"Sorry." Roxas's voice was quiet, an edge away from breaking.

"Don't apologize, moron." Axel tilted his head, trying to see past the chinks in Roxas's fingers. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Roxas sighed heavily, looking up at Axel. "Have you seen Xion today?"

"Nah. She wasn't at the tower, either."

Roxas looked down at his gloved hands. "I…we were on a mission together, today. And we went to the Coliseum, you know?"

"Yeah." Roxas was such a slow storyteller.

"Have you ever met Zack?"

Axel thought for a second. "Kid with black hair?"

"Yeah, him."

"In passing, yes. Why?"

"He…he saw our keyblades. And he said 'so who which one of you is real?'."

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?" Roxas snapped.

Axel rolled his eyes. "Roxas, why are you upset about that? I mean—we're Nobodies, right? None of us are real."

"I know." Roxas swallowed. "But…the keyblade…why did it choose me, Axel? If I'm a Nobody, if I'm not even real…why can I wield it? And why can Xion?"

Axel looked away from Roxas. All he could see was a boy who looked like his friend, except with a rounder face and longer, darker hair. The boy with a keyblade cradles in his hands.

Sora.

That boy was asleep now, buying Axel precious months with Roxas. Giving him time to try and figure out what would happen once Sora awoke.

Sora. A name marred, scrambled, and stamped with an "X" to create the person Axel cared about more than he knew possible in this second life.

Axel sighed. "I think…you'll just have to find that out for yourself, Roxas."

Roxas bit his lip. "Does that mean I'm going to be alone someday?"

Yes.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Axel tried to sound convincing.

Without warning, Roxas turned and crumpled into Axel's lap, head resting against Axel's chest and hair tickling the underside of Axel's chin.

"Jeez—what's—Roxas…?"

"Don't leave me." Roxas's voice was hoarse.

"I'm not! Roxas, jeez, I'm right here. Got it memorized? I'm right here."

Axel lifted his hand and smoothed it over the back of Roxas's head and pulling the boy closer.

"I'm right here."


	15. The Ballad Of Mona Lisa

the ballad of mona lisa

If Axel were to commit suicide, he knew exactly how he'd do it.

He would tell Larxene that he hated the little insect-like pigtails she always wore. She would then make sure to kill him quickly and brutally and no one would even remember he had ever walked the worlds, except maybe Larxene and that was a cold comfort.

They'd known each other, back in the days of humanity. She'd been Ansem's daughter by his first wife, a bratty girl by the name of Arlene who'd made life miserable for Isa and Lea—mostly because she was in love with Lea and didn't find it possible that he might now feel the same way for her.

And, luckily for Axel, she'd been there the day the explosion that had killed Lea and Isa and created Axel and Siax and—well, needless to say Larxene wasn't any less unpleasant than Larxene.

Actually, her ability to kill you with a bolt of lightening made her a bit worse.

"Do you ever think of your father?" Axel asked as he flipped through an old book, bored of Castle Oblivion all ready. He'd had his fun with Sora and now had nothing to do until a few more pieces of the puzzle were revealed to him…

"That old man?" Larxene scoffed. "Of course not. He was never around when I was a human anyway."

"You were never without sea-salt ice cream, though." Axel grinned at her over his book.

She made a face. "I always wanted to live with my mother. But, no, pompous old _daddy_has to have me under his control in his giant rust-heap of a castle."

"How lovingly you remember our world." Axel rolled his eyes. Trust Larxene to try and diminish the glory of some of his treasured human memories.

"Did you hate him?" Axel asked, actually curious about the answer. He'd always rather liked the aloof ruler of Radiant Gardens—Ansem the Wise had been fine until he'd blown up their world and killed everything and everyone Axel had loved.

"Hate him?" Larxene raised her eyebrows. "I didn't even waste that much on him."

She walked over to the couch where he was lounging and sat on the armrest, teasing her gloved hand through his long spiky hair. He bit back a grimace.

"You were the only one I liked." She purred. "Back in those days."

Axel swallowed, trying to keep his cool. "I didn't think I was that interesting."

"You weren't." Larxene huffed. "Always too busy with Isa. Guess that's changed now. Siax is a couple worlds away, and I've got you all to my self."

Axel suddenly wished that the keyblade master had actually managed to kill him.


End file.
